Depth of love

As some people say, Love should be experienced and not just felt. I have to agree with it. I tried so many times to breakup with baby dae. But each time we came back stronger...

Sweetness

Dae,

Do you know? To have you hug in my chest warms my heart. And as I kiss u gently on the forehead... *(whispering at your ear), dae a pleasant sense of sweetness flow within me.

I hope you feel it too. The feeling reminds me of the song "Tenderly I taste a bite of 'I love u that comes from u' ".

Sweetness...

My message to her

To my wifey dae,

When I thought we have parted
Yet we get even closer

When I thought I can never get to see you again
You are there to hug me

When I tought I can never chat with you again
you kiss me passionately


When i thought I can never feel your love again
You show to me, its all in your heart

Is you that make the night wonderful

Is you who make our love amazing.

Love you my bee my dae....

Connection Re-establish

I have reconnected back with WD. It happened on Monday. A day that I always reserved for her. I cannot explain it. I had this sudden urge to see her, talk to her and if possible touch her face.

Maybe that was because she had replied me in Gmail. She explained to me about her disappearance:

"I didn't appear offline on u or whatsoever..
If u recalled.. e last time we were at ECP...
I already informed u i will be working from wed - sun (10th - 14th) for Aviva open (badminton compeition)..
By the timing i reach home, it's either late alr or am dead tired and down with sickness..

Guess u've forgotten about it thats why u thought negatively..
Anyway, am getting better.
take care.."

Ha.. kannina rite? She mentioned that I have negative thinking??!!

I called her up to see if we could meet up. I was sending my mum to a relative's wake and while on the way back I could turn to her place.

Just too bad she didnt pick up the call. It left me thinking again, "What the heck is she doing?"

So I sent her messages in Gmail the moment I reached home. Luckily she reponded my messages awhile later. Oh.. she is a real piggy.. She slept from that day afternoon till evening 10pm. Poor girl she was exhausted from work. Ha.. it also made me realised Piggy was more and more suitable for her.

Guess what? Today she called me around 6pm. It was a surprised. She laughed and laughed during the whole conversation. That was a laughter that i missed for sometime... I heard it again.

Oh Piggy your laughter makes my day. Thank you!

Her Disappearance

After Friday morning chat, she is no more available in Gmail. This means there is no way I can chat with her via Internet now. How is that piggy doing right now? I do not know and am very curious to know.

But she has disappeared from gmail for the last two days. I guess she is avoiding me. Come to think of it, it is already 3 weeks I have not seen her.

Many times i wanted to intiate a chat session with her, but all the times i put off the idea. She shows great determination to forget me. I should not remind her of all the pain? With a click, I crossed out the chat box.

Soon I will be a forgotten man.

A moment like this

I can't describe the love between us. Thank you for giving me this moment. The moment to feel your love....

What if I told you it was all meant to be?
Would you believe me, would you agree?
Its almost that feeling that we've met before so tell me that you dont think Im crazy
when I tell your love is here and now.


A Moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.


Everything changes, but beauty remains.
Something so tender I cant explain.
Well I may be dreaming but til I awake..
Can we make the dream last forever?
And I'll cherish all the love we share for a moment like this.


Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.


The speed of waiting love of all.
I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall.
So let me tell you this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this...


Some people search a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.


I miss you...

Curiousity and facebook

My curiousity overcomes me. I went to WD's facebook. Surprisingly she has removed all her albums except the recent one. I mean all the photos of her with her ex have been removed.

Was she posting all those pictures to vent her anger or just to provoke me? Anyway, now that she has removed them, I believe her anger should have subsided.

Stranger

I was listening to FM Class 95 while on my way home and I heard this interesting topic. The DJ was saying many couples become stranger when communication between each other reduces or simply stops. It coincides with the situation of me and WD. We have decided to move on. Seeking a way to free ourselves from each other.

I have stopped my MSN and FB. However we still meet in Gmail chat. Best part is WD and myself are playing hide and seek in the chat room. Avoiding each other and yet want to know the present of each other. This is a funny reaction from both of us.

In fact I initiated a chat mischievously earlier. Shoo shoo was her reply. It means go away. So kanninaly crude. Ha.. I mean how she can come out with the word. The pronoucation already makes me laugh. Anyway, I didnt continue further but greet her bye when I left the chat room.

Are we cutting off the line of communication? I wonder, after some sweet moment, are we are going to be a stranger to each other the next time we meet?

Dae... My wifey always stays in my heart and my memories shall live on with this blog.

Another B disappears

"No words can describe how amma feeling now. Its so bare & empty without B." That was her display name in MSN. What is B? Or who is B?

Inevitably, I started messaging her to cheer her up in case she was down. Guess what? B was her Brace. I felt like a fool for been too caring.

Anyway, I was caught speechless by her respond. Kinda disappointed. Don't worry much dae. I have just done what you have requested. No more messages from me.

Do take care!

Expiry

I wonder what will happen now. Yup the time is up. Today she is parting her 2 years and 8 months relationship + B....

MYOB

OH Yeshh!!! I love U WD. MYOB = Mind Your Own Business. Or Me Your Oblivious Baby?? Haha.. I am glad that I can still chat with you. Thanks to the mysterious IP address that left at her Blog.

Though time was short, I still had a great time chatting with her in the afternoon. She was in super good mood. Today is a Monday, a reserved day ? Come to think of it, we have not been meeting for 3 or 4 Monday.

Anyway today's communication was smooth and easy. We just let our feeling flow. I like the feeling. No pointing at each other but just teasing and laughter...Oh Piggy and a super late queen!

Jealousy

She posted her pictures in her facebook. Pictures of her with her ex make me uncomfortable. Somehow a sense of jealousy crawls in. I just don't like that feeling. It is very kannina so I close my facebook.

Watch One piece now. That is the peace i want.

Thunder Rain

It's raining now and the downpour comes with lightning and thunder. I hope Dae Dae is stilll sleeping. She scares of lightning and thunder. She always does.

I still remember the night when lightning flashed across the sky, she tucked her head in my chest, hugged me like a kid and said, "Ahh! Dae, I am scared."

"It is just lightning, don't worry." I replied as I caressed her hair.

What a memory.. As my mind recalls, the song from Jay chou echos in my mind "Tenderly I taste a bite of 'I love u that comes from u' ". I close my eyes to feel it. Oh it is sweet. I smile as my heart gets warmer. Close my eyes, I taste it again and again...

Worries

Here is her display name posting in msn -

[3 days left to breakup!! amma so gonna miss you badly b... 2years and 8 month relationship.Awww]

[She only allow me to have one & only her. Fennie da flabbie's friendly farnie girl.] [scandalontherise!!]


Confusing message. I do not know what is in her mind rite now. Just worry for her


05/06/09 - The day when the mind fight with the heart...

Love and Hate

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way youre always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when youre not around,

and the fact that you didnt call.

But mostly I hate the way I dont hate you,

not even close

not even a little bit

not even at all.

I cannot focus on my work. Her attraction is strong. My mind is drawn to her every now and then. The people, the environment, the songs..etc all of them just make me think of her. As I sit and recall all the hate words she used on me. It was very similar to the movie "Ten things I hate about you".

My heart aches when I know you are in pain and i cannot even hug you. My heart is dying for you. But my mind says let you go. You have suffered enough.

Bee what am I? A Piggy or a monger.

Her comments - Cactus hurt

"When u know one too well till u know when one is lying to cover smth up.. That's when the trust decreases & U can smell the arrival of doomsday."

I am confused by her comments. It seems the arrow is pointing straight at me. What is in Ah dae's mind? In her language, i ask "what the heck!" In mine, i said "what a kanina thought." Really i do not know how to ask her. Lying, cover up something, the trust descreases? She has that impression of me for awhile.

I am not sure have i promised her anything big to cause her such a disappointment. In our past conversation, did i instill too much hope into her, had i said something that was not true or just that she finds me not as honest for not telling her all things about my surronding and myself?

To be serious, i cant recall any of it. I would prefer that she tells me straight away than keep them to herself. Misunderstanding always happens when doubts are kept in the heart.

Should I clear my doubt or let it be? This sentence just put me away - "the trust decreases & U can smell the arrival of doomsday."

I guess no point for me to go on since she does not believe me now. Though I am not comfortable with it but I guess I may hurt her more with my reckless words. What is more? Doomsday arrival. Her mind is set to move on. I should not sway her back.

It is painful to let her go. But it is more hurtful to know she cries almost everyday because of me. Really she does not deserve all the suffering.

It has been 2 weeks since we last met. I miss her alot. I want to see her, touch her, hug and kisses her. Initially I thought of meeting her on Friday evening. But now I have to withdraw such a thought...

DAE to Love you I guess the best way is to leave you.....