Changes

Hong Kong Singer Gigi Leong once said:" Love doesn't need much plans because plans can't keep up with changes that lie ahead."

Love hurts badly

How is seaflower right now? Yup we still keep in touch. And along the years, she still remembers my birthday and never fails to sms her blessing to me each year. However, i guess that is how far we can go. I am saying that because i am attached now. Things change as year goes by.

Fate seems to be playing game with me. There were times when I tried hard seeking love. But it ran away from me. Many years i waited and many times I was alone. When i think i can settle down with someone who really loves me, another girl enters my world and melts my heart.

How it happens? I can't answer it. I rejected and avoided it. Still it happens. In my heart where does seaflower stand when all these happened? Well, I sense and feel love from people who fall for me. I appreciate what they have done for me. Their affection and passionateness are something that move and touch my heart. These are things that seaflower does not show. If you were to open my heart now, only two names could be found. Wifey Dae and JC.

Ironic isn't it? After what i have done, seaflower is not even in my heart. I guess it is not about what i have done, but what others have done for me that irk their names, smiles, laughter, love in my heart. A life long mark.

For now, i am very much emotionally hurt. What a kannina feeling! I don't want to be a 2 timer. It is unfair to both my love. And whatever decision I make, it shall hurt one. I can't make decision base on how strong my love is or how comfortable i am with Ah dae or JC. I love both of them. I can only act base on what is right and wrong. Base on who i started with first and the difference is merely 50 days away....

I feel terribly bad right now. I am missing wifey dae... Ah dae dae i really hope u are fine.... I miss u a lot and I love you. Half of my heart is already yours! My forever wifey.

As i wonder right now, what is love? Does perfect love means stay together with your love one? Or can it be though both are heaven and earth apart, separated for 10 years, 50 years, 100 years, ....but still the love for each other stays. you just want each other good...an eternal love?

In any case, both are romances. Just that one half of my heart aches...

Miss u.