Year End

Year 2006 has almost come to an end. When I read through my blog, i realise that i have not added in a single point on why i find her special.

So What is special about her, so special that i inevitably thinks of her everyday and night? So special that I felt the pain when i got rejected ?

To be honest, i cannot give an actual answer. However i am sure it not because of some impulsive decisions.

I remember she gives me a deep impression when we went past a Breadtalk shop one day. She just stopped and said to me, "I will get some bread for my parent. Wait for awhile." Then she stepped into the shop and picked up some bread. Well, it was already 10 to 10.30pm and normally at this hours, most people have finished their dinner.

There was occasion when i was stunt by her behavior. We were having dinner together at Crystal Jade Restaurant. She did not like to waste food. I thought she was a Buddhist until she told me she is a free thinker. But what stunt me was when i picked her a roasted pork meat while having dinner. Surprisingly she rejected it. "I will not take it. If you are not taking it back. Never mind. I will leave it there and let it goes to waste." What a firm and no-need-to-negotiate reply. I was caught by surprise really. In my mind i just thought, "Her decision is direct and firm. It seems difficult to change her mind." Ha.. looks like i am damn Kannina correct cos I got rejected twice in my courtship. Not a chance =)

Personally i feel uncomfortable with this part of her character. It seems too direct. Yes means yes and no means no thing, very serious-business oriented. Instead of taking the food back, just imagine if i were to possess the same character as her and answered her back, "Never mind, leave the food there, let it got to waste." First thing the food will definitely go to waste and secondly both of us probably will be angry with each other.

The other things I know about her is that she shows her emotion out. I guess she has not realised that until today or may be i got it wrong. I don't really know. But i think her emotion show twice on her face during these two occasions:

The first time was when we meet up for dinner after she shown me her Napal Trip picture. One of the photo pictured her in a pair of yellow color caterpillar boots. She told me that her friends made fun of her by calling her Phua Chu Kang. I found that quite amusing and called her PCK as well. The first time was ok, she smiled back at me. But the second time i called her PCK there was no more smile, instead what-is-so-funny look was on her face.

The second time was on a bus. She told me that she spent her time playing mahjong while having holiday in Bali. I didn't buy her idea when she explained that they had nothing to do there so played mahjong was to pass time. I replied her: "I don't know, i find it quite funny when u go all the way to Bali to play mahjong." She seemed annoyed. The don't-talk-to-u face was shown.

There are also time when i find her attractive. The last time when we met up at Vivio city, she was wearing a white color dress. I found her really attractive in that dress. She told me she attended a wedding lunch and that was why in such a dressing code. Well, it would be nice if she had said: " I dress so nicely because i am meeting U." Ha.. Dream on!

And there are time that i find her adorable. I remember we were watching a movie in a theatre. I could not remember the title of the movie but there was i one part when the actor was torture or beaten. I saw her covered her mouth with her hands as if she felt the pain. I tapped her with my elbow, not to stop her but to tell her it was only a movie. Ha..When i think of it right now. She looked cute at that point.


Also there are time that i really want to be with her. To share all her joy and sadness. Like when she told be how carefree it was to be in Nepal. Chatting with people, singing on the way while trekking. How nice it would be to experience all this with her. Then there was time when she told me there was problem with her youth group. There were shortage of man power and fund. I felt so sad for her and that I was not able to help her in anyway. But i promise her, if i were to hit toto, i will sponsor her youth group... let see if this day comes. Ha...Come back to reality at the moment i am looking into the possibility of making donation to her volunteer group.

And of course i find her a great person cos she is able to manage 20 over staffs and from her MMS, these people are 15 to 20 yr more senior than her. I was a little happy because her male colleagues are mostly uncle type which i think is suitable for her... keke

And along the way, there are some disappointments as well. There were few occasions when I wanted to meet up with her but was turn down by her. Occasions like her birthday and mine. These are the days i feel people can connect up easier cos the days are special to them. Also my favorite comic turns movie, Death notes, i wanted to watch with her put was down twice. Ha... and the badminton game that has never started.

Chelsea football manger, Jose Mourinho said this once: "The biggest frustration for me in football is not when i lose but when you do nothing to win. Dont be afraid to lose, be afraid to go home with a bad feeling and the bad feeling comes when you play nothing."

I agree with Jose's statement. My frustration comes because I am trying to create opportunity to make things happen. But it seems nothing i can do. May be patience is the word now i have to learn.

So how about the impression she has on me?? Ha... I can only guess it. It must be very bad. Or may be just a normal friend.